Wednesday, February 13, 2008

No Wonner They Scream! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!

This was too funny for me to pass up! This is a site I got from Memarie Lane, and I just couldn't pass it up. I put in my post from this morning and chose "Redneck". It "dialectized" the text. Tell me this isn't hysterical!!

Last night ah had a poppin' problem wif mah lef' ear. Yo' know, like yo' git when yer flyin'? Yeah. SO annoyin', but not pow'ful thet trimenjus of a deal, ah reckon. Wal, at 3 in th' mo'nin', ah woke up t'excruciatin' pain in mah ear. It felt like ah was bein' stabbed, seriously. ah c'd hear li'l squeakin' noises; ah pow'ful thunk mah eardrum was a-gonna pop. ah took 4 ibuprofen, an' rummaged th' medicine cabinet until ah foun' some Similisan, as enny fool kin plainly see. ah put them drops in an' waited patiently, tryin' not t'scream (too loudly.) Th' whole lef' side of mah haid an' neck were in pain, as enny fool kin plainly see. Finally, ah decided t'take some Unisom (a couple mo'e than th' recommended dose, of course) an' it wawked wifin an hour. ah woke up this hyar mo'nin' t'mostly pressure in th' ear. ah decided t'stop at th' Targit Clinic on mah way t'wawk (mo'e on this hyar later, mebbe - LOVE th' Targit Clinic! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!) An hour later ah was armed wif majo' antibiotics, eardrops, an' a diagnosis of an ear infeckshun wif a bust TM (tempanic membrane, which ah believe is th' eardrum, dawgone it.) Yeah, thar is blood a-comin' outta mah ear. Purdy pitcher. All ah can say about this hyar is thet ah now unnerstan' whuffo' mah chillun scream fo' days on ind when they haf an ear infeckshun! Fry mah hide! Warnin': ah gave mah bess friend rights t'post on mah blog, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells! ah wanted her t'post mah quirkies o' whutevah thet is; on account o' ah doesn't feel ah HAVE enny quirks. ah's puffick, it's ev'ryone ELSE thet has all th' quirks.

3 comments:

Heidi Reed said...

ROFL - that is freaking hilarious, Melissa!

Ha ha!

Heidi R.

HappyBlogChick said...

You really had an ear infection? You poor thing.

The dialect ... toooo funny! Back in the day I think I dated someone who sounded like that. How sad is that?

Laura B. said...

Is it bad that I understood every single word in there and was reading it that way in my head? Guess my East Tennessee education is good for something. ;-)