"Latte? SKIM Latte?" Okay, am I crazy for ordering a skim latte? Does that defeat the purpose? If you heard the incredulity in my co-worker's voice, you'd think I ordered my coffee with crack in it. Maybe I should be the designated coffee runner from now on, because after I had the gall to ask for skim milk, I added to it by asking for sugar-free french vanilla (I know, I'm such a prima donna) he stood there and stared at me blankly for a good minute. Sugar free? Do they make sugar free syrup? Men.
Speaking of crack. My 4 year old came up with something pretty funny. He asked for something during dinner, and before I could even begin my usual bribery (you know the one "if you eat your food... okay, if you eat three more bites...) wide-eyed, he stated "I know, after I eat my food... I have to eat all my food. If we don't eat our food, our skin is going to dry up and crack." Ummm... I'm thinking we can thank Grandma for this one. I can hear the conversation in my head ("If we don't drink enough water...") The skin-cracking thing runs in the family, and is usually brought on by washing too many dishes. Which is why I leave mine for the babysitter. ;)
TOM has hit me like a ton of bricks. I think he is quite ill-mannered. Isn't the gentler sex supposed to be treated with utmost care and kindness? I don't care what society is telling us about equality, I will teach my boys to open the door, pull out the chair, give up the last seat... And yet, once a month I am visited by the most unwelcome, impolite guest. Last night, after a long day at work, TOM decided to wreak havoc on my lower back. I couldn't even sit in my cozy chair and blog, or zone into a pointless two hours of American Idol. I had to wrestle the boys (who have a few manners yet to learn themselves) through dinner, bathtime and into their beds. Then I headed straight for bed. Sleep evaded me. No position eased my aching back. So I turned to my good friend, Advil PM (four, to be precise) and the comforting warmth of my heating pad and finally drifted off to sleep... three hours after climbing into bed.
Hence the fat-free, sugar-free, FUN-free latte.
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5 comments:
Smiling, giggly softly (when I should be busy working on the chargeback rebuttal).... I love grandma!
It took me a moment to figure out who TOM was... but I got it... and I am going to use that acronym from now on. It makes sense to give the nastiness of all that a boy's name ;)
TOM is brilliant. So much better than Aunt Flo. Definitely my new euphemism.
Hope you're feeling better now...oh, and loved the skin cracking story. I can just imagine his big serious eyes as he relayed that story to you :)
Heidi
Ha! Up until I started taking daily topomax for my migraines (which had the weird side effect of making me no longer crave lattes) I always ordered:
NONFATSUGARFREEVANILLALATTESNOWHIP!
SO there to your co-worker!!!
Okay all I can say is HOLY CRACK you lost 4 pounds AND TOM is here......WHAT THE.........WOW! That is all I can say......WOW, oh yeah and WAY TO GO!!!
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