Melissious Intentions

"I didn't lose my mind. I sold it on Ebay."

2009-10-05T09:25:00.004-04:00

I was going back and forth between this title, which I stole from a piece of flair on facebook or: "Total Insanity". Both pretty accurately describe my life right now. I'm not going to waste time apologizing for not writing in a million years, because by the time I'm finished, you'll know why.

Since my last post, I:
-Visited my best friend in Europe
-Went on a weekend trip with the youth group from church
-Had a miscarriage (again)
-Volunteered for 2 months at church to help organize an international convention
-Entertained houseguests for 2 months, two weeks, and one week, respectively
-Said goodbye to my best friend (again)
-Threw birthday parties for all four of my babies
-Started various medications
-Went camping at the beach
-Drove 14 hours EACH WAY with 4 kids and 3 adults to TN for a weekend
-Endured a surprise root canal
-Said goodbye to my baby sister
-Was a counselor for 10 & 11 year old girls for a week
-Had another miscarriage (that's number 5)
-Went back to work
-Drove from MD to Maine with four kids
-Went back to school
-Sent my big boy to 1st grade
-Filed for bankruptcy
-Took a weekend trip to the opposite coast
-Planned a trip to Germany for my baby sister's wedding
-Started selling things on ebay
-Officially lost my mind

I'm sure I'm forgetting a million things, but that's the short list. I'm hoping to get this blog back up and fill it with happy thoughts soon. Until then... Pray for me!! :)

GOAL REACHED!!!!!

2009-02-14T10:53:00.004-05:00

That's right - I'M GOING TO BUDAPEST!!

I will be leaving March 10th and return March 25th. I'm SO beyond excited! I've already purchased my ticket and everything.

Yes, you read that right - over TWO WEEKS away from my precious kiddos. I was booking the ticket, and an extremely low price popped up for these dates. I told my lovely husband and he said "Go ahead!" I asked him FIVE times, just to make sure he knew what he was getting into!

I mean, if I'm going to go to Europe, I might as well GO, right?! I am due for a mommy vacation! So, now that I've gotten all of these monetary donations... all I need now is donations of TIME to help take care of my mommyless brood while I'm away!!

Hint, hint. ;)

Pathetic Attempt at Begging

2009-02-05T21:10:00.000-05:00

Okay, so it's been a million years (again) since I've blogged - and a hectic million years at that! It would take another million years to put it all on "paper", so I'm thinking I should just start fresh with right NOW, and slowly this year (do we REALLY want to remember it??) will surface on its own.

So, let's get down to the purpose of this particular post. Begging. :) I am unashamedly begging for help to get to Eurocon. What is Eurocon? It is an international conference our worldwide church holds every year in Budapest, Hungary. Why is this year so important? Because this past year, my best friend in the whole world moved to Budapest to be a missionary and a teacher in their international school. I miss her terribly and cannot wait to see her. All year I have been planning to make this trip to Budapest. When my husband's company closed down and we could no longer pay our mortgage, I would still answer the question "Are you going to Eurocon" with a definite YES. I know it sounds ridiculous and maybe a little irresponsible, but I really feel like I am meant to go.

This is NOT only to see my best friend. Eurocon is an amazing, life-changing experience, and I think God has something special for me there. Not that I haven't been receiving something special from Him HERE, I have. I have NEVER felt God's presence more clearly than I have through these impossible times. We've lost SO many precious people this past year... starting with last year during Eurocon when a very close friend of mine lost her father, and ending with a couple of weeks ago when ANOTHER close friend lost her father (also a close friend of my family.) These precious times away together with a relatively small group from our local church are times of bonding like no other. Last year I was there with Arline shortly after she got the news of her brother's passing (she is my friend's aunt.) She said there's no place she would rather have been when she found out, than with this FAMILY of friends to hold her up. I just can't even put into words what Eurocon means to me in so many ways.

So here I am, unabashedly asking for donations so I can go. I know there are more deserving people who I would love to go as well, but the thought popped into my head this morning after a conversation with my husband who told me the only way I can go is if a miracle happened. Who am I to limit God? If I don't get enough money to go, of course I will be sad... but I really don't see that as happening. PLEASE don't feel bad if you can't give anything. I don't WANT anyone to give ANYthing if they can't. I'm serious. I just figured if 70 people could give 10 bucks, that would pay for my ticket! I don't need a hotel room as I'll be staying with my BFF.

So here you go. I'm attaching a paypal button where you can donate. Otherwise, just PRAY! Thank you, and I love you all!!

Our crazy group in the Castle District

SUCH a great day with Staz, Gracie & Tina (even though I was wearing the same clothes for 4 days because my luggage was lost!)
Me & Arline

Twenty-Five Things

2009-01-30T13:03:00.002-05:00

Okay, so out of sheer laziness and lack of time, I'm just going to copy and paste this from facebook. This is something that's been going around like wildfire (or the flu). Normally I'm not big on these kinds of things, but I love finding out things about people that I never knew, so here you go!

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you

1. Yes, they're fake. When I was 8, I was rollerskating in the (marble) lobby of the apartment building we lived in... my skates slipped out from under me and I landed on my 2 front teeth, and knocked them right out.
2. I've met Harry Connick Jr.
3. I would love to have twins again. And again.
4. My husband is really sweet... he just doesn't want anyone else to see it. :)
5. It really bothers me when friends try to push products on me. I'm not into natural potions, magic teas & juices, organic cleaning products... I don't want to join a multi-level ANYthing, thank you!
6. I would like to go back to school... I know it sounds generic, but I would like to be a nurse.
7. I still sleep with the pillow I've had since I was 2. My grandmother made it for me. I can't sleep without it (and my family teases me to no end about it.)
8. I watch entirely too much tv, and would secretly love to do away with it completely.
9. I would like to take my whole family and go on the mission field. I just could NOT live with those tiny washing machines!! :)
10. When I was in college, my best friend/roomie and I used to go to Walmart at midnight for NO other reason than to sit in the closed McDonalds seats and stare at the people that would walk in. We'd make bets on how many people would be in anything other than sweat pants. I miss those days... and I miss my best friend!!
11. That last one made me laugh and cry at the same time.
12. I watch a lot of movies... and swiftly forget them. You will often find me answering the question "Have you seen..." with "Ummm, I *think* soooo..."
13. I set foot in 3 countries and about 10 states last year.
14. I met my husband at a car dealership - where he sold me my first new car.
15. I used to want to visit EVERY continent in the world. Okay, so it might still be a dream. Can't figure out how I'd get to Australia or Antarctica, though... I AM over halfway there, though!
16. I love taking pictures. You want to know why? Because they help me remember. If I take a picture of something, it helps me remember it. Not the actual PICTURE, but TAKING the picture. If I lost all of my pictures, I would still remember taking them. Does that make sense?
17. I often can't fall asleep at night because I have a song running through my head over and over. Even if it's a song I like, it keeps me awake.
18. Used to hate diet soda. I mean, like hate, hate, HATED it. Couldn't even take one sip... and I'm now hopelessly addicted to it - Especially Diet Dr. Pepper.
19. I like to bite my kids' ears.
20. I wish Rita's wasn't closed in the winter.
21. I wish I had OCD. Seriously.
22. I hate cleaning. Well, it's not so much that I hate it, it's that no matter HOW much I clean, it's NEVER done...and if I pause for a minute, the mess catches up to me!
23. I should be cleaning right now, ugh!
24. I went to Kindegarten with most of my graduating class.
25. I went to school with a lot of the parents of the kids in my son's kindegarten class.

And one extra, just for my blog: I REALLY hate asking people for things, but my post below has actually turned into something FUN and exciting.

OBX Time!

2008-06-07T07:42:00.006-04:00

We're having a beautiful time at the beach. It's a little overwhelming being here without my husband, but all in all it was definitely worth it. Today is our last full day, as we're leaving tomorrow. I can't believe how quickly it flew by (as most vacations do, right?!) Here are a few of my favorite pictures so far...

All the kids (SEVEN kids, ages 6 & under! And only ONE girl!)

Me & my boys on the pier

The whole crew on the pier

My ALONE walk on the beach (self portrait)... I didn't want to come back!

I'm So Sorry!

2008-06-02T11:51:00.002-04:00

This post is for Catherine. :) I'm so sorry I haven't bee blogging. I'm in one of those life is getting away from me phases. It's not that I'm not on the computer, or that I don't have anything to write about... it's just that I don't really want to take the time to sit and think about how to write it.

For instance, right now I'm in the Outer Banks. It's so beautiful! There's so much I could write about I don't even know where to begin! I'll post some pictures when I get a chance. Hopefully I'll be able to keep up with my blog! Christine, thanks for being interested enough to keep contacting me. I'll really try harder! :)

I'm a Nutcase

2008-04-04T20:02:00.004-04:00

This is what I did yesterday:

The rose at the bottom was my original tattoo that I got about 10 years ago (actually he covered it up and redid it, it was pretty faded), but the rest is new. I drew an idea of what I wanted, and the guy designed it with the kids' actual footprints!

(this was the idea)

I cannot BELIEVE how painful it was! I wanted to give up halfway through. I said "I'm sure the other 2 kids would understand if their footprints were left off!" I made it, though.

What do you think? Am I a complete crazy person, or what?

Well, if I am, he's with me...

A Night In

2008-04-03T16:42:00.005-04:00

Last night I got home from work fully expecting to go to the mid-week service at church. All four of my boys were dressed in matching Cowboys Jersies, all vamped up for a night out. A few minutes before departure, Baby (I know, Tina, he's not technically a baby anymore... don't get me started! sigh...) had a blowout. I know, sorry, but how else can I put it? All over his pants, shirt, everything. Simulatneously, twin # 1 followed suit. Change of plans. Man, were they disappointed! They found something that SHOULD have been packed away months ago and Mommy of the Year decided to do this...

And this...

And, of course, this...

You should have seen the multi-colored bath that shortly ensued! What fun little boys are!

*I apologize for no pictures of the baby. His artwork was by far the best. He actually did a lovely job grabbing the Halloween makeup while I was grossly absorbed in painting these characters... and proceeded to write all over himself (and eat a little... which probably didn't help the whole bowel issue!) Scrubbing yellow paint out of his ears and hair was the most fun I've had in a while (can you sense the sarcasm?)

To Tatt or not To Tatt

2008-04-03T13:28:00.001-04:00

Okay, so some friends from my husband's work are getting together and going to get tattoos tonight. I have a tiny one on my back from when my friend turned 18, about 10 years ago. I think it would be fun to go and get it re-vamped or maybe get another one... or nothing at all. I read about a really nice, upscale place which is basically in my neighborhood. Maybe I'll at least go with them and check it out and see how I feel about it.

What do you guys think?

Simple Pleasures

2008-03-27T08:41:00.004-04:00

No matter what kind of mood I'm in, these actual signs on my way to work make me smile EVERY morning!

Look closely at the paving signs. The funny thing is, these are legitimate businesses. They have shiny new trucks, really clean, new buildings and everything!! There's another funny one, but I didn't see it this morning, and I can't remember what it was... if I see it I'll post it another day.

The World Was Not Worthy

2008-03-16T22:08:00.005-04:00

It's been ages since I've wanted to blog. I keep thinking about it then pushing the thoughts aside. I know that a blog should be a place to come and vent, but I don't want that to be all this is. We've gone through such loss lately, that I feel like it's all I'm writing about. I wrestle within myself over the sorrow over losing them, and the rejoicing that they're in Heaven. I'll be honest. The rejoicing is taking it's time this time. Please don't read this with a critical eye for my writing. I'm just letting it all out. Maybe it will help me cope. My sentences are going to be misplaced with no clear flow. This is how grieving is, I think. It doesn't make sense, so why should my writing about it make sense?

Charity and I have been friends since before I can remember. We were in the same kindergarten class... and remained in the same class all the way through elementary school, middle school and high school. It's not how you're thinking. Our graduating class had 13 people. It's not like we all took different Science or English classes. Our class was together all day, every day for 13 years. We would have graduated together if she hadn't left the school, gotten married and started a family. We've been through so much together. I was there for each of her children's births (she has 4), except the last one. This is by far the hardest thing I've had to endure with a friend. I was in Budapest when I found out that her father died. It came as a complete shock. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach, and that feeling really hasn't gone away since.

Mr. Jipson was "healthy as an ox." He looked like a movie star. Thick, wavy hair, strong features, big chest. Just healthy. They still don't know what happened. One of the pastors at his funeral quoted 2 Corinthians 5:8, "Absent from the body, present with the Lord." One minute, he was doing his thing - he was at a customer's house installing satellite - and the next minute he was gone. They don't know why. We don't know why. I can still hear his voice calling Charity "Punkin". He's always called her that. He had nick names for everyone. He called us, Charity's friends, "Kiddo". "You want anything, Kiddo? Can I get you somethin' Kiddo?" Such a sweetheart.

Charity's been through alot. She had a not-so-nice husband, to put it mildly. Her dad was her rock. Always there for her. She lived with him for a while when things got bad. Thank God, she got out of that relationship and has since married a real sweetheart who loves her. I've never seen her so happy. And then this. She wrote something about him, and they put it in the schedule at his funeral. I just keep seeing the words "Who am I going to call when I just need to talk to you, Dad?"

When my husband and I got married, our first house practically shared a backyard with Mr. Jipson. So many memories in that neighborhood! It was so strange to live there after the many years of traipsing through those woods with Charity, getting into trouble. I'd meet him in his yard while walking my dog and we'd chat for a while. He always had stories about his grand kids. When Jake was a baby, Charity and I would go hang out at his house and swim with the kids. We'd all eat ice cream together. He loved his grand kids so much! You know, last year he wanted to take them all to Disney World. He knew they couldn't afford it, so he bought a big van so he could drive them all down. I'm so glad they had a memory like that now.

I wrote in the card to her that I feel so selfish for thinking that I'm going to miss him. I just wish there was something I could do to take away her pain. It doesn't even make sense. None of it makes sense. I know that God's plan is perfect, it's just so hard to see it like this, when we can't SEE what's coming out of it. The whole time during the service I kept thinking it could have been my dad, or Amy's dad - we sat together at the service. Her dad is on his "final" tour in Iraq. He's a helicopter pilot. I keep thinking about him. I can't handle losing someone else. We never know when it could happen. It's so strange because the night I finally got through to Charity from over seas after finding out, I talked to her for a while. All I could think about when I hung up is that I've never looked forward to Heaven as I do now. No more of this pain, or fear. We're looking toward that time. He's already there. Maybe he's praying for comfort for his family. Love is stronger than death. Our pastor said today, we might feel the dying, but death? No. Death knocks on our door but we're already gone. Death can't find us.

They talk about the mansions that will be prepared for us in Heaven. Is that what we're looking forward to? As each day goes on, I think less and less about the mansions, and more and more about the people. And Jesus. The Lion and the Lamb. The glimpses I get here of Him. The love through His people - only a taste of what we'll see there. If we are like Him, some more so than others, then how wonderful He must be in all His glory! I think of Mr. Jipson. I think of my own dad, so Christ-like in my eyes, and I yearn to see Him. Without this pain and heartache. And to tell others about Him so they can see Him too - both here in this world, and the next.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-03-12T10:47:00.003-04:00

I'm so glad it's Wednesday! I am finding it hard to find words to describe our trip to Budapest...

For those of you who are interested, click here for the rest of the pictures.

Lettuce in a sandwich?? EW!!

2008-03-03T21:44:00.002-05:00

Overheard last night while Grandma was reading to my boys:

Grandma: "Yeah, it's a picnic! Mickey Mouse had a picnic!"

Owen: "What's dat?"

Grandma: "That's a sandwich, mmmmm, yummy - because they're having a picnic. See the picnic basket?"

Owen: "No, what's DAT?"

Grandma: "That's lettuce."

Jake: "That's not a sandwich - there's lettuce in it!"

Grandma: "Yeah, there's lettuce in the sandwich."

All three boys in unison: "Ewwwwwww" (I wish you could hear the intonation of this.)

Grandma: "No, YUMMY, lettuce in sandwiches is yummy!"

All boys in unison: "Ewwwwww"

Grandma (becoming insistent): "Don't be silly! Lettuce is good for you, we put lettuce in sandwiches. What do YOU put in your sandwich?"

Owen: Butter

Jake & Collin in unison: Peanut Butter & Jelly

Nice. I'm raising some health nuts over here. Like mother, like sons! :)

Note: I do like lettuce in my sandwiches. I guess I should offer my boys more of a variety of sandwiches, since they think there is no such sandwich other than pb&j.

Just Another Manic Monday

2008-03-03T12:15:00.002-05:00

My day in a nutshell:

Leaving for Europe in TWO days.
Haven't packed.
Laundry up the wazoo.
Kids running wild and free, in different stages of undress.
Coming down with a cold.
Hubby sick and miserable.
Just spent $114 on various cold medicines from CVS for the trip - just in case.
Worried about leaving my kids with a babysitter for so long (Even I am ready to pull my hair out after a few days alone with them!!!)
Did I mention Hubby is miserable??

So. I shouldn't be on the computer. I should be packing!! And doing laundry!! And nursing husband back to health. And clothing my children... HEEEELLLLLP!!! (Does anyone else see the word "HELL" in there??)

Laughing Through the Tears

2008-02-28T12:52:00.001-05:00

I've never seen anything like it. The Face to Face service for John was today. The chapel was full of lives he impacted. I overheard more stories, and remembered some of my own. The best part of the whole thing was that everyone who got up to speak had some funny story to tell about him. We all knew him as the biggest goofball and prankster. He was serious about his call and his Savior. What an example he was. The service was so anointed, and struck a chord with many of us. Who is going to step up? What a challenge! I don't know how many people it's going to take to fill his shoes (of course, they can never be filled!) Missionary. Youth worker. Friend to many. Missionary. There was a man in front of me who was from his ministry in the inner city of Baltimore. I couldn't bear to see his body wracked with sobs. But, by the end of the service, with tears still running down his face, he was laughing with the rest of us at one of John's antics.

I started typing this the other day, and can't finish it; but I want to post it anyway. Tina's post on it is way better, and since we share a brain (and her half is way better), I want you to read hers instead of mine....

Love...

Wordless Wednesday

2008-02-27T17:02:00.002-05:00

The Unveiling

2008-02-25T15:31:00.003-05:00

It's a new day... and I have a new blog name! The following is what I posted on my other page. Yes, I'm THAT lazy. I don't feel like typing the same idea again, so here it is:

I'm not sure if I even have any readers left, but I didn't want to leave you all stranded. I've changed the name of my blog. I was just not loving the name I had chosen, because come to find out, it was NOT very unique. I think my new blog name is a little more unique, even though I'm not sure it really illustrates what my blog is all about. I'd love some feedback on it... And, here it is... drumroll please...

Melissious Intentions (as you can see above!)

Please give me your feedback! I'm thinking it's kind of cute. Melissious has been my screen name on every site, email address, etc., since pretty much the dawn of the internet. It has many meanings... let's see if you can figure it out...

Through a Glass Darkly

2008-02-20T12:09:00.005-05:00

I just saw him last week. He had gone to Istanbul, Turkey to be a missionary, so I thought it was a little odd that I saw him in a crowd the other day. He even looked a little more clean-cut than I'd ever seen him, even when he was dating my dorm head in college. He was looking pretty good.

Well, apparently there was something going on that I, and many of our mutual friends - even his closest friends - had no idea about. He came back from the mission field for a visit, and now he's gone. It can't compute in my mind. Big John. I haven't really even cried yet. I've felt right on the verge, like tonight at church when I saw one of his really close friends walk out sobbing, or yesterday when our youth pastor got up, lip quivering, and said how much he'll be missed at camp. "He was always at peace there, sitting out in a boat on the lake, looking out over the campers." He will be missed. Greatly. The heartache is real. The confusion, the disbelief - we don't really know what to do with it. I can't believe I'm here again, within what, a week, writing about losing someone again? I really don't know what to say, because it really isn't real to me. I can't process it.

In any respect, it makes us hug the ones we love tighter, and want to call our friends and tell them we love them - just in case they might not have known. Even those ones that I haven't seen in a while, I feel like they're a part of my heart, and it aches for them sometimes.

Our pastor said something yesterday that has really stuck with me. It's tempting to want to blame ourselves for this. John was getting help, but we could have done more. If only I had spoken to him when I saw him last. If only they had taken him out to lunch last week. If only someone had known, like really known. Well, Someone did know. Does know. He's here to hold us in our sorrow, and He's there with John by his side. A perfect Big John, with none of the troubles that were haunting him. Yeah, we're left here with the hurt and confusion. We are trying to look through this foggy glass darkly, but he is seeing face to face.

On the other side of that, though, is this... Jesus, when he was teaching his disciples how to pray, told them to say "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven." I take that to mean that we can have a taste of Heaven here, now. Yes, we long for Heaven. Yes, we now have one more person to miss desperately. I've even asked God again if He's sure He doesn't want to just take all of us. Then I see the fullness of His Body here. The love of the family, the comfort in the little clusters of friends holding each other up through this. We can see Him here and now. If we just focus on that - those moments of clarity - we just might make it through this. To the other side.

Face to Face.

Ode to Grandpa

2008-02-18T21:43:00.003-05:00

Today was my dad's birthday. My mom, the sentimental softie that she is, decided it would be nice to spend the WHOLE day together as a family. That means, my 4 crazies, plus my sister's 2 - with no boundaries (unless you count the horribly polluted bay on one side - I guess that's a boundary of sorts!)

It started out beautifully. It was a balmy day of somewhere near 65 degrees here in Baltimore today. The sun was shining; the birds were singing and all that jazz. The kids had fun "seagull bowling", as we so gracefully call attempting to run over flocks of birds who are trying to steal our food. Then, as we made our way along the harbor, the wind started up. Along with it, came the clouds... and the rain. We had made it quite a ways away from our cars by this time. Puddles seemed to form out of nowhere. And I don't need to tell you the solution to this equation: little boys + puddles = ... yeah, soaking wet, screaming car full of fun. One good thing that came out of it was <<>> which I would have done if I hadn't left my camera at the restaurant. Oh yeah, we went to a restaurant afterwards. Call me a glutton for punishment (or a Daddy's girl, either one will do.)

After trying unsuccessfully all day to get a picture of Grandpa with ALL the grandkids, we figured out the best way to get them all together was (get out your sunglasses, folks!)...

CAKE, of course!!!! (duh)

I had the good sense to email this picture to myself from my dad's phone since my camera had died (and I subsequently left it at the restaurant so this is my only picture of the day!)

Speechless Saturday

2008-02-16T09:33:00.007-05:00

Last night we made brownies... This morning I woke up to...

And...

And just in case we didn't know who the ring leader of this parade was, he signed his handy-work...

Selfish

2008-02-15T21:55:00.002-05:00

Conversation on the way home from the mall with my 4 year old:

"Mommy, what is 'selfish'?"

"It's when someone isn't grateful for what they have and wants everything else."

"Mommy, I'm selfish."

"Oh, really? Well, selfish kids get all of their toys taken away and given to kids who appreciate them."

A couple of minutes of silence...

"Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"I'm NOT selfish."

So I'm Sitting There Buck Naked...

2008-02-14T21:58:00.007-05:00

I was very close to becoming the butt of an internet mass-forward joke tonight.

My dear, sweet husband planned a nice, romantic dinner of take-out straight from the Outback bags. See, with four little beasties running around, it's hard to go out when we both worked a full day with a babysitter at home. So, while I put the crazy midgets to bed, he went to pick up the food (45 minute wait.)

I got the kids in bed with time to spare, and an idea hit me. Everything looks better by candlelight! So, I got out a nice tablecloth and a bunch of candles and set up a nice little atmosphere. You know what's good about candle light? It makes the world a little smaller and hides the mess...

It took longer than expected for the food, of course. While I was waiting, the thought popped into my mind, "All I got him was a silly card." I thought, "You know what would be funny? If I was sitting here completely naked when he got home. That would be a fun present (especially with the whole darkness hiding things)!"

Notice the shock on his face as he walked in the door...

Unfortunately, I ate entirely too much chocolate and candy today, and was feeling that the darkness wouldn't hide ENOUGH, plus, I suddenly thought the table would look prettier with more candles and some dishes... so at the last minute I changed my mind. If you look closely at this picture (to the right of my husband between his shoulder & the door frame- yeah, I know it's horribly grainy, but remember, it was dark in here!), you'll know exactly WHY I'm glad I did... It's a face. He happened to meet up with one of his best friends in the parking lot of the restaurant. He came home with him to borrow a movie. Boy am I glad I went ahead and went with the card!

Even without the naked surprise, I think he was pretty happy.

Valentine's Blues

2008-02-14T13:13:00.006-05:00

So, I got my best friend a Valentine's card today, and a PRESENT. AND Chocolates. She was mad at me. Does that make sense?

I also got in a fight with my husband this morning.

Typical Valentine's Day.

Grr...

**Editor's Note: I would like to retract the statement that my best friend was mad at ME, she was just not having a great day (read her Valentine's Day pot and you'll see why.) I took it personally for most of the day, because TOM is visiting and it was just one of those days. I HEART her and she liked the presents (I think.) And she still loves me even though I'm a diet saboteur.

No Wonner They Scream! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!

2008-02-13T20:05:00.002-05:00

This was too funny for me to pass up! This is a site I got from Memarie Lane, and I just couldn't pass it up. I put in my post from this morning and chose "Redneck". It "dialectized" the text. Tell me this isn't hysterical!!

Last night ah had a poppin' problem wif mah lef' ear. Yo' know, like yo' git when yer flyin'? Yeah. SO annoyin', but not pow'ful thet trimenjus of a deal, ah reckon. Wal, at 3 in th' mo'nin', ah woke up t'excruciatin' pain in mah ear. It felt like ah was bein' stabbed, seriously. ah c'd hear li'l squeakin' noises; ah pow'ful thunk mah eardrum was a-gonna pop. ah took 4 ibuprofen, an' rummaged th' medicine cabinet until ah foun' some Similisan, as enny fool kin plainly see. ah put them drops in an' waited patiently, tryin' not t'scream (too loudly.) Th' whole lef' side of mah haid an' neck were in pain, as enny fool kin plainly see. Finally, ah decided t'take some Unisom (a couple mo'e than th' recommended dose, of course) an' it wawked wifin an hour. ah woke up this hyar mo'nin' t'mostly pressure in th' ear. ah decided t'stop at th' Targit Clinic on mah way t'wawk (mo'e on this hyar later, mebbe - LOVE th' Targit Clinic! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!) An hour later ah was armed wif majo' antibiotics, eardrops, an' a diagnosis of an ear infeckshun wif a bust TM (tempanic membrane, which ah believe is th' eardrum, dawgone it.) Yeah, thar is blood a-comin' outta mah ear. Purdy pitcher. All ah can say about this hyar is thet ah now unnerstan' whuffo' mah chillun scream fo' days on ind when they haf an ear infeckshun! Fry mah hide! Warnin': ah gave mah bess friend rights t'post on mah blog, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells! ah wanted her t'post mah quirkies o' whutevah thet is; on account o' ah doesn't feel ah HAVE enny quirks. ah's puffick, it's ev'ryone ELSE thet has all th' quirks.

Quirky confessions - Evil laugh

2008-02-13T14:52:00.008-05:00

Hello world. This is Tina, Mel's bff in the whole widest world. I am here to post in lieu of her as she cannot manage to think of any her quirks. This is quite funny because I at the drop of a hat can think of many. Get ready to be entertained and thank you Mel for allowing me the pleasure of being a guest blogger. I feel most honored. Thanks Laura for tagging Mel.

1. Sauces - every food must be swimming in some kind of sauce. A common phrase when ordering food is "can I get a side of buffalo/general tso/soy/honey mustard sauce?" Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. We took a trip to Taco Bell a month or so ago. She asked for LOTS and LOTS of sauce. The woman must have given us about 100 packets. We used about 20. The rest sit in her desk drawer "just in case". The beauty is that her kids have become sauce cravers too. "Wanna dip it!!"

2. Eating - basically, it's like this. What it takes me 10 minutes to inhale, it takes her about an hour. Slow as molasses eater. Which I guess is a good thing.

3. Stinky pillow - there is this pillow that she MUST sleep with every night. I call it the "stinky pillow". I don't think it's stinky, it's just old and ratty and is barely clinging to life with the multiple safety pins holding it together. And yes, when already running late to the airport, she has made the driver turn around so she could get her beloved and cuddle him close to her face.

4. The fan - in addition to the 'stinky pillow' we have Mr. Fan. Mr. Fan blows all thru the night on high speed, so as to drown out any noises and to lull her into precious slumber. I would have to say, this is one of my quirks too. I cannot sleep without the 'wirr'.

5. DRAMAmine - it's her miracle drug. Mel gets quite car, airplane, sea.. 'anything that would move her' sick. But when she's driving, she's fine. And usually when I'm driving, she's okay too. Except when I'm backing up. I've yet to figure this one out.

6. Do you smell that? - a very common question when hanging with Melissa. Her best work would probably be on the Swat K-9 team because I swear, she has the sniffer of a bloodhound.

She's not TOO quirky but she's got 'em peeps. But it makes me love her all the more! Hooray for quirky confessions!.

Thanks, Amanda

No Wonder They Scream!!!

2008-02-13T13:10:00.003-05:00

Last night I had a popping problem with my left ear. You know, like you get when you're flying? Yeah. SO annoying, but not really that big of a deal. Well, at 3 in the morning, I woke up to excruciating pain in my ear. It felt like I was being stabbed, seriously. I could hear little squeaking noises; I really thought my eardrum was going to pop. I took 4 ibuprofen, and rummaged the medicine cabinet until I found some Similisan. I put those drops in and waited patiently, trying not to scream (too loudly.) The whole left side of my head and neck were in pain. Finally, I decided to take some Unisom (a couple more than the recommended dose, of course) and it worked within an hour. I woke up this morning to mostly pressure in the ear. I decided to stop at the Target Clinic on my way to work (more on this later, maybe - LOVE the Target Clinic!!) An hour later I was armed with major antibiotics, eardrops, and a diagnosis of an ear infection with a burst TM (tempanic membrane, which I believe is the eardrum.) Yeah, there is blood coming out of my ear. Pretty picture. All I can say about this is that I now understand why my children scream for days on end when they have an ear infection!

Warning: I gave my best friend rights to post on my blog. I wanted her to post my quirkies or whatever that is; because I don't feel I HAVE any quirks. I'm perfect, it's everyone ELSE that has all the quirks. :)

Terrific Tuesday - Thank You, Mr. D!

2008-02-12T11:57:00.001-05:00

Okay, could you sense the sarcasm dripping from that title? No? Well, fasten your seatbelts, folks. I have yet ANOTHER foolish story for ya. I have to warn you, it's going to be predictable, but bear with me...

Tuesdays are my carpool day. This means, I wake four peacefully sleeping cherubs (who instantly turn into vicious demons as soon as their eyes open) and whirlwind - yes, that's a verb - them into the car. I then head to the park & ride, where I add two MORE boys ("the Austins", actually one Austin and one Auston) to my brood. Can you do the math? That's SIX boys together in a car - at 7:25 in the morning. This particular morning went off pretty well, other than the fact that I did NOT want to get out of bed. I did NOT want to wake up the cherubs and get them dressed. I happened to glance out the window as I was walking across the hallway (open foyer) to get them, and noticed that there was a dusting of snow (I can hear the predictability bulb going off in your head) on the road. So, being a native Baltimorian, I freeze in my tracks, turn off the light and race back to my room in search of the remote. I turn on the news and stand there waiting for the delays to flash across the screen. There were like 3 schools opening late and a few closings (yes, folks, for a dusting - and I'm NOT exaggerrating!!!) Groan... and off I go to wake them up. The second I get in the car I turn on the radio. I make it to the park & ride a couple of minutes late - thank you, Mr. 1983 Ford truck, for going five miles UNDER the speed limit the entire way and missing those 2 green lights! The boys hop in my car (and by "hop" I mean gingerly climb up into their seats and start looking at toys and talking to my boys before even thinking to buckle their seatbelts.) And we're off... boy the roads are clear, gotta love election day. As we drive in, I hear that most of the Christian schools in the area are either closed, opening late, or closing early. There's a winter weather advisory for later in the day.

We pull into the school a full TWELVE minutes early. There's the security guard and one teacher pacing back & forth in front of the school. It's Auston's teacher. She walks up to my car ("Aw!" I'm thinking in my head, "She's going to come GET the Austins out of the car and WALK them into school!") Yeah, wrong. She walks up with a huge smile, with what looks like a hint of pity in her eyes. Still not registering in my brain. Down goes the window... "There's no school!" WHAT?! I had the radio on the ENTIRE way to school. They did NOT cancel it. Well, our school goes by the Baltimore County school system - which didn't HAVE school today because of the elections. Therefore, they were not listed in the "School Closings" on the major television or radio stations. Finally, at 8:07, when I was almost all the way back home, I heard on the radio "We are still getting calls about school closings. Greater Grace just called in to say they're closed today. Thank You, Mr. Principal! Those of us who need to leave about an hour before school starts at 8:15 in order to get there in time, could have used that call about TWO HOURS ago.

The School of Suffering*

2008-02-07T21:14:00.000-05:00

I was kicked out of my own bed by a 27 pound 3 1/2 year old this morning. We are not the "family bed" type of family. I like my space. I don't sleep well being kicked by children (or my husband, for that matter) all night. Well, at 5 o'clock this morning, I was awoken by the dear husband shouting something in my ear. Owen threw up in his crib!! Great. I thought we were done with this. I've been basically out of commission for two weeks - three if you count the week Glenn was sick before that (he's STILL sick!) Each one of the boys, except for Jake, has gotten this lovely stomach bug. It's been quite a trying time around here. I feel like it's just one thing after another.

I know that all one of you who read my blog have been concerned about my last post. I hyperlinked some of my old posts and alluded to the fact that I had writted about someone who had died. Well, I haven't yet. I just wasn't really ready. It wasn't someone I was particularly close with, but I am close with some of his family and it just really hit home for me. I tend to overly-empathize with people, if that's possible. This was a young father who used to attend our church. Now, our church is like a huge close-knit family. I was actually born into this church. My parents have been a part of it since the early 1970's. I may not be super-close to everyone here, but when someone is going through something, or if someone loses a loved one - even if I'm not close with them - it's like losing a long-lost brother, aunt, grandfather, etc. This guy who passed away last week was in high school (our church has an affilliated K-12 school as well as a Bible College, both of which I graduated from) when I was in elementary school. I'm friends with his sisters-in-law and his nieces. My boss was one of his best friends. Two of his kids are in our middle school. He also left behind a 3 year old. I have had a hard time thinking about this whole thing. I wish there was something I could do for them, yet I don't want to bother them since the wife and kids don't know me. I just burst into tears when I heard that the baby has been walking around the house saying "Where Daddy go?" I can't handle that. Then I think, this could just as easily be me going through this.

It makes me realize how blessed we really are to be a part of such a tight-knit family. Also, just to know that this man is now in a place where there is no more temptation - no more sin - is such a comfort. It wasn't such a perfect situation that he was taken Home. He had been drinking and was walking on I-95. I've learned this past year that none of us are above temptation. This could just as easily have been me or someone I loved who made one simple choice and was taken from the ones who mean the most to us. There's just no room for judgment here - only love and support.

After all of this, another member of our church was called home. This was someone I did know personally, the mother of one of my favorite teachers and mentors, grandmother to one of my sister's best friends. She had been battling Alzheimers, and joined her husband in Heaven a few days ago. This is a time of rejoicing (and sadness, of course) for her family and friends here. At one point this week I said to God "If you want to take us all home, can we just all go together?!" I felt like I couldn't take any more bad news (another close friend of mine had a migraine stroke and was in the hospital at the time - she's in her 30's!) We may not understand His ways, but I'm really learning that all things are for our sakes. I can't imagine how hard these times are for these families, but even the way that their friends and family react to the situation, is a testimony to me, and has already made a change in my life.

Just as these things were happening, I went through something in my own life. This is something that has happened in the past, and something I've reacted to in a completely different way. I've asked myself in the past, how things like this could possibly be the will of God. I read *something on our church's website that was written by John Newton (the author of Amazing Grace and other hymns.) It really made an impact with all of these trials and tragedies still fresh in my mind. "A Christian without trials would be like a mill without wind or water; the contrivance and design of the wheel-work within would be unnoticed and unknown, without something to put it in motion from without. ... But the Lord sends afflictions one after another to quicken our desires, and to convince us that this world cannot be our rest." He also said that if we didn't have any trials and lived a perfectly comfortable life, we would not be able to accept or identify with Christ, who lived a life of sorrow, unaccepted by His own people!

As I'm writing this, I'm thinking that it almost sounds selfish to say that these things happened for my sake, but I think that this is exactly how I should live. This may have happened for many other reasons, but why not take it and learn from it myself? We have a personal God! I learn through my own failures that I can't judge another soul; and I learn from the failures of others how to truly forgive as I've been forgiven. I've been forgiven much, therefore I can forgive much. I can even use this in my daily life. My little boy is whining. He won't stop. This is for me. I can learn patience. It's also for him, I can teach him that I love him even though he's impossible. :)

Praise God!

This is Not for You (Yes, I Mean YOU)

2008-02-07T09:58:00.000-05:00

These past couple of weeks have been a little difficult to say the least, and my blog has been suffering. I heard something yesterday from a former editor of the Baltimore Sun that put things into perspective for me, though. He said "The difference between a writer and an editor is this: a writer writes for himself. An editor writes for someone else. When you write for yourself, it takes away all the pressure and expectation." I like that. I'll admit it. Sometimes I write on here, and as I'm writing I'm thinking, "This is silly, nobody wants to read me rambling about my kids pooping all over the house, me forgetting it's a vacation day, or someone they don't know dying." I think I'm not witty enough, or serious enough. My stories are not new, every mother goes through this. Well, you know what? I enjoy writing about those things. It gives me an outlet for my thoughts. So what if my blog is just one big brainstorm, and I never come up with the perfect title, or if my blog name is unique enough. Am I going to get down on myself if I don't post every day? No. I'm not going to be afraid to write about what I want, the way I want to write it. I'm not going to worry about how many readers I have or how many comments I get. Not that I was really worried about it, but I'll admit I started wondering if anyone out there liked my writing.

Writing. For me. I've always liked writing. I felt at home in English class. My senior English teacher in high school was the classic English teacher. Strict, no nonsense, even a little bitchy (okay ALOT bitchy.) She used to yell at me for chewing on my pen. Seriously, she was like a drill sargent. I, on the other hand, was not the prize pupil. I won't fake modesty and say that I wasn't smart. It wasn't that. I just didn't really care about school. Homework was not a priority. And I was a little bitchy myself. Needless to say, Mrs. Kirby and I clashed once or twice. Yet, she was my favorite teacher ("you can't start a sentence with a conjunction!") Well, I guess you shouldn't have taught me about Poetic License! It irritated me to no end that she detested the word "got" or "made"; she absolutely would not allow us to describe something as "nice" or "good." I got (that one's for you, Mrs. K) pretty good grades in high school. One or 2 C's out of pure laziness... or something a little more passive aggressive - but we'll not get into the psychology of the whole thing (Private Christian school my entire life, etc.)

Rewind to Composition 101. Anyone remember? I don't know how your teacher did it. Mine would set a timer and we'd brainstorm. Probably for five minutes, we'd write whatever popped into our heads. I loved this part. Just write and write. I'd usually start with a few descriptions of the people around me "Billy has the most annoying reading voice, why do they always pick him to read aloud? And why does he always WANT to read aloud?" Inevitably I'd find something to write about amidst the rubble that was my brainstorming paper and I'd focus on that - but only because we HAD to. Secretly, I hated when that timer went off. For those five minutes I felt so alive! I would write and write until my wrist throbbed in pain, massage it a little bit, and write some more. I didn't want to have to fence in my thoughts, corral them into a masterpiece. That was too much work!

And so, about 10 years later, I started a blog.

One Day

2008-02-06T21:26:00.000-05:00

One day eyes that are blind will see You clearly,

And one day all who deny will finally believe.

One day hearts made of stone will break in pieces,

And one day chains once unbroken will fall down at Your feet...

So we wait... for that One Day, Come Quickly!

We want to see your glory, every knee falls down before Thee,

Every tongue offers You praise, With every hand raised.

Singing Glory, to You and unto You only,

We'll sing Glory to Your name.

One day voices that lie will all be silenced,

And one day all that's divided will be whole again!

One day death will retreat and wave its white flag.

One day Love will defeat the strongest enemy!

So we wait...

For that one day, come quickly!

We want to see your glory, every knee falls down before thee.

Every tongue offers you praise, with every hand raised.

Singing glory, to You and unto You only, we'll sing glory to Your name!

We know not the day or the hour, or the moments in between.

We know the end of the story!!

When we'll see...

Your Glory! Every knee falls down before Thee.

Every tongue offers you praise, with every hand raised.

Singing Glory to You and unto You only

We'll sing Glory to Your name.

Lyrics by Selah, Artwork by God Almighty

DIE, Teletubbies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (And where the HELL is my coffee???)

2008-01-25T12:21:00.000-05:00

There are a few children's "educational" programs that I cannot stand. I mean, I really, really detest them. Among them would be the one where all of the fuzzy characters speak in a "zoo-loo" language (or something of the sort), the one with the black guy dressed in a strange plastic outfit where (more) fuzzy things come out of his briefcase and dance around to nonsense music. I would have to rank the Teletubbies right at the top of this list. First of all, can we really classify these shows as "educational", when they barely speak one word of English? And when they do speak English, it's on the level of an 18-month old?? Who thinks up these things?

All of that to say... the remote is all the way across the room (go, go gadget arms!!) and my coffee is nowhere to be found (it was right next to me a second ago, how did I lose it??) My three youngest, ages 3, 3 & almost 2 are sitting here entranced by this nonsense show. I can literally see their language skills regressing! Great, and here's a promo for a NEW freaky show "Panwaba", sound like they all speak "Waba". Now, if only my coffee were still sitting next to me. I could take a sip and maybe that would fuel my ~~lazy ass~~ exhausted body to get up out of this oh-so-comfy chair so I could finally change the freakin' channel already!

I never in a million years thought I'd hear myself say this, but thank GOD, Barney's on!!

Happy Birthday, Dr. King

2008-01-21T22:12:00.000-05:00

I woke all four of my soundly sleeping boys this morning at six o'clock. The Husband is out of town, so I had to wake them ALL up just to take the oldest to the carpool which meets at the park & ride about six minutes from my house. I would have kept him home, but he had a field trip to the aquarium that I didn't want him to miss. I woke the oldest first, since he can get himself ready while I'm getting the others dressed. I then went to wake the the twins, only to find that one had had diarrhea sometime during the night and it was crusted all over him (I know, nice picture) his sheets, pillow - everything. I had to draw a quick bath for him while frantically dressing the other twin and the baby (BAD mommy, leaving the twin in the tub alone!!) Twin One didn't want to come out of the bath, so wrestling his clothes on was fun. Shockingly, I made it out of the house with a few minutes to spare, so I stopped at D&D for some coffee for me and donuts for the boys (I know, I know, don't even bother telling me how bad all that sugar is before school.) Right at 7:25, I pulled into the park & ride. Nobody was there. Nice, I rush to get my FOUR kids out of the house, and they're sleeping in with their ONE kid each (actually, one of them has FIVE kids and one on the way, but only one goes to school and her husband is always there - plus, it sounds better for my story to say they each have ONE kid, so, for the sake of the story they have one kid each)... at least one of them is always late. The only time we're late is if Hubby takes them. Ten minutes go by. This is getting ridiculous. I start texting. "Are you coming today??" No response from anyone. Rude. I call. No answers. I guess I'm going to have to drive him in even though it's not my day! Then, my ears zone into something on the radio that's barely audible. "Blah, blah, blah... Martin Luther King, blah blah blah..."
Yes. I did know it was MLK day. What I did not know was that there was no school today. The field trip is next Monday. I was looking at the wrong week on the school calendar.

In related news, I got some desperately needed groceries. I went to the gym and worked my @$$ off for an hour. I even took the kids to Friendly's for lunch. All before noon! And all of which I would NOT have done had I known school was closed on MLK's birthday (I meant no disrespect, Dr. King, but hey, we ended up celebrating in style!)

And the Worst Mom of the Year Award Goes to...

2008-01-18T21:29:00.000-05:00

Okay, so this blog is supposed to be mainly about my weight-loss journey, with a few anecdotes of family life. These days it seems like the mom side of things is overtaking the weight-loss side (as well it should, I suppose.) Well, that's basically how my life is going right now. I am focussing more on my crazy home life and less on my weight loss. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. I am still sticking to WW completely, it's just that after a long day the main thing on my mind is what happened with my crazies rather than what I ate for dinner (I had a salad I threw together if you're wondering, in between picking children up off the floor after they fell off a chair trying to watch a movie at the counter and tickling contests amongst the flipped-over footstools & chairs that are the make-shift fort that is my living room.) See, there I go.

All that to say that this, once again will be a post dedicated to mommy-hood.

It was another exciting day here at the Crazy house. I almost feel guilty relaying this story, but isn't that what the world of blogging is for? It all began fairly normally. Breakfast was a little iffy. The twins wouldn't touch their food. One of them was just sitting there staring blankly. I tried to get him to take a bite (he's the good eater of the two and it was waffles after all, who doesn't like waffles??) and he started to gag. Well, come to find out, he had a little fever and wanted to lay on the couch. All day. Yay! That's fine with me! So, the twins were pretty low-key. That gave me a little time to work on some laundry and tidying up that desperately needed to be done. Biggest Brother has been bugging me since last night to go outside sledding, but with one sick, and one semi-sick I couldn't really leave them and take the other two out.

While waiting for another load to dry, I sat down for a few minutes to catch up on some of my reads. I was in the living room with the twins, and Big Brother & Baby were upstairs. Or so I thought. They had followed me up & down the stairs a few times while I was putting away laundry and from the distance of their voices, the only logical conclusion was they were upstairs, and playing nicely. Until Baby started screaming. "What did you do to him?!?" I yelled. Biggest brother comes running into the living room - with his shoes on (??) "Baby was IN the street and almost got hit by a car!!" Nothing is processing. Suddenly it hits me, as I bolt for the (OPEN) door. There is Baby, standing barefoot in the snow on the front porch, screaming.

Now, I didn't see or hear any car. And I'm thinking if Baby was actually in the street, and if there actually WAS a car, wouldn't someone STOP their car and look for the owners of said baby? I think so. So I'm guessing there was no car. But still. How scary, right?

I Do NOT Get Paid Enough for this Sh!t

2008-01-17T22:54:00.000-05:00

Have you heard this before once or twice? Well, in an effort not to sound too much like Dr. Phil in reference to mommy-hood as a profession, I will simply replay the wonderful evening I had with my boys and you can judge what I should be paid for this.

Note: Husband is thousands of miles away for the weekend ~~hanging out with his buddies~~ for work.

I'm rolling around on the floor with my 3 youngest hoodlums after their baths (I know, eww, dirty floor, clean kids, but oh well.) Baby is tackling me, laughing hysterically. Twins are playing their Leapsters trying to avoid my tickle fingers. Dog is trying to join in the fun.
"Did someone poop?" I smell poop, I KNOW I smell poop (as only a mom of 4 toddlers knows the smell.)
Nooooo!! all three shiny-clean, innocent faces chime together.
"Owen, you pooped, didn't you?"
No. I dinnent poop!
"Yes you did, I can SMELL it." (yes, I know the difference between the SMELLS of their poops. This didn't smell familiar, which usually means it's Owen - you don't want to know...)
No. I dinnent. See! He kindly turns around and sticks his butt in my face. I take a niiiice deeep inhale. (again - only a mom!) Nothing.
Huh. Emmett? "Did you poop Emmett?" (Baby)
Yethhhh. I boop!! Another sniff... Nothing. Little Turkey. Collin??
"Did YOU poop?"
No answer.
I sniff him... Still nothing.
{Enter Dog.}
"Gross!!! Get away from us, you smell like poop!!!" I check her out. She does smell like poop, KID poop, but I see nothing on her. I shoo her away and continue playing.

After a while, I realize that the oldest hasn't come down from his nap yet and it's 7 o'clock. I'd better wake him up. I go up the stairs. Is that dumb dog following me?? Pew!

...And there it is... at the top of the stairs... a crumpled up pair of underwear smooshed into the floor, and a path of poo... all the way down the hallway from the bathroom... all over the bathroom floor leading to a pair of pants... all over the toilet.

"JAKE?!?!?!"

No answer.
I look in his room. He's not there. I walk back down the hallway, trying to sidestep around the brown streak on the floor, over the underwear into my room. There is my little angel. Sitting on my bed playing his Leapster.
"I was sleeping and I pooped in my sleep!" He says eyes wide, brimming with tears, not sure if he needs to full-on cry to make this more convincing...
He needs to go straight to the bathtub. I take him to mine, it's closer... I stop dead.
Poop.
All over the bathtub.
MY bathtub!

Thus began my loooong evening of scrubbing bathrooms and steam-cleaning carpets. This is AFTER a long day at work (which is actually a long BREAK from my real job!) The only plus side is, I HAD to earn some activity points lugging that huge carpet cleaner up and down 2 flights of stairs and up & down hallways (of course, I had to do a once-over of each of their rooms while I had it up there!) Not to mention all the loads of laundry created by this little fiasco. Now if I could just figure out where that URINE smell is coming from in the living room...

Good grief!! If they weren't so damn CUTE, I'd have to QUIT!

Didn't Your Mother Ever Tell You Not to Hit Girls??

2008-01-17T09:53:00.000-05:00

"Latte? SKIM Latte?" Okay, am I crazy for ordering a skim latte? Does that defeat the purpose? If you heard the incredulity in my co-worker's voice, you'd think I ordered my coffee with crack in it. Maybe I should be the designated coffee runner from now on, because after I had the gall to ask for skim milk, I added to it by asking for sugar-free french vanilla (I know, I'm such a prima donna) he stood there and stared at me blankly for a good minute. Sugar free? Do they make sugar free syrup? Men.

Speaking of crack. My 4 year old came up with something pretty funny. He asked for something during dinner, and before I could even begin my usual bribery (you know the one "if you eat your food... okay, if you eat three more bites...) wide-eyed, he stated "I know, after I eat my food... I have to eat all my food. If we don't eat our food, our skin is going to dry up and crack." Ummm... I'm thinking we can thank Grandma for this one. I can hear the conversation in my head ("If we don't drink enough water...") The skin-cracking thing runs in the family, and is usually brought on by washing too many dishes. Which is why I leave mine for the babysitter. ;)

TOM has hit me like a ton of bricks. I think he is quite ill-mannered. Isn't the gentler sex supposed to be treated with utmost care and kindness? I don't care what society is telling us about equality, I will teach my boys to open the door, pull out the chair, give up the last seat... And yet, once a month I am visited by the most unwelcome, impolite guest. Last night, after a long day at work, TOM decided to wreak havoc on my lower back. I couldn't even sit in my cozy chair and blog, or zone into a pointless two hours of American Idol. I had to wrestle the boys (who have a few manners yet to learn themselves) through dinner, bathtime and into their beds. Then I headed straight for bed. Sleep evaded me. No position eased my aching back. So I turned to my good friend, Advil PM (four, to be precise) and the comforting warmth of my heating pad and finally drifted off to sleep... three hours after climbing into bed.

Hence the fat-free, sugar-free, FUN-free latte.

My Weekly Respite

2008-01-14T21:27:00.000-05:00

This is what I came home to after volleyball last night... so sweet!!
Gotta love getting home and they're all in jammies, have had their stories and are ready for bed. Looks like it went smoothly, doesn't it?? Don't be fooled, alot can happen under the not-so-watchful eye of Grandma... To name a few: a couple of pairs of underwear had to be thrown away ("Collin was dancing around, so I asked him if he had to go... but by the time I got him in there, he had already..." and you can guess the end.)

And this is the other thing that happened...

Collin tripped on nothing, I mean, the tile in the kitchen and his tooth went completely through his lip. Ouch. My mother told me this story as calmly as if she was telling me he finished all his dinner. My baby!! Notice he's as happy as ever with the gash in his lip. Little stinker. I just hope it doesn't scar. Ahh, the hair raising joys of raising boys!!**

After my grueling workout in the morning, I rocked at volleyball. I thought I'd be too tired to play well, but *gasp* I actually had more energy... I even jumped higher... I actually got a couple of fingers on the ball while blocking a huge hitting 6' something guy on the opposite team - woot, woot!! :) Maybe next time I'll actually stop him, ha ha. He's big, and he hits hard.

Oh, did I mention I lost 4 pounds this week?? Yeah, slight sidenote!! Which means I have fewer points... which means I need to work out more. :)

**the title of a book I read a while ago.

The Longest Thirty Minutes of my Life

2008-01-14T09:15:00.000-05:00

Labor? No, but it felt like it - minus the pain meds! After waking up at 6:45 and taking my oldest spaz to the Park & Ride for carpool, instead of going home and going back to sleep for an hour like a sane person, I decided to torture myself and go to the gym. I haven't been in a while. Like a couple of months. During my last regular stint of gym-going, 30 minutes on the elliptical was a breeze. It could have been because I went with my bff Tina, and the minutes just fly by full of celeb-talk and people-watching. This morning, there were about 3 not so interesting ladies (although, I'm sure Tina and I could have found something to dish about - we always do!) in the women's gym. The closed-captioning on the morning news wasn't working. The print in the People magazine from last year was too tiny for me to see through my blinding sweat. I did have a little text-a-thon with said bff which I was sure had distracted me from my agony for about 20 minutes - until I moved my magazine and realized it had only been about five, during which the elliptical I was on decided to malfunction and actually make me feel like I was treading lead. Literally, when the incline went up, the resistance just stopped. I nearly fell off with my cell phone in one hand and towel in the other! Not to mention my heart rate read 49 when it was clearly somewhere over 200 (okay, that's a slight exaggeration, but pretty close!) Can someone please tell me what they're doing with our $180/month??? I mean, they just sent out a lovely letter telling us how they just spent $170,000 or so on upgrades and renovations and would have to raise our dues $10/month (as they do every year.) What exactly did they upgrade?!?! Nothing looks different to me than the last time I visited! I WANT MY MONEY BACK!! Unfortunately, it's automatically deducted from our bank account every month, so there's not much I can do. Anyway, I switched machines after what seemed like hours, but was actually only 17 minutes - 13 torturous minutes to go! The last thirteen minutes dragged by pretty uneventfully other than my face turning so beet red I wanted to walk out with my sweatshirt over my head.
That 38 degree air smacking my face has never felt better!! I rolled down the windows to try and cool down. It's an hour later and I still looked like someone smacked me, but you know what? I feel energized and I have a few extra points to use today! Hopefully the energy lasts through the day and I don't pass out from sheer exhaustion on the volleyball court tonight!

An Evening at the Mall

2008-01-12T17:53:00.000-05:00

The husband and I decided that it would be fun to get out of the house for the evening - with all four boys. Two of whom are potty-training. This mall we went to is not the one that's five minutes from our house. It's not the mall that's 15 minutes from our house either. It's the one that's about 35-40 minutes from our house. Well, the first forage out in underwear actually went surprisingly well. The boys hadn't really had much to drink during the day, so I had promised them their cups in the car. Slight misjudgment, they sucked the entire cups down in 5 minutes. So, we park and have to run the toddlers to the restroom. We made it (pretty much - a drop or 2 on the undies doesn't count as far as I'm concerned.) The second trip to the potty, only about 20 minutes later, was even more productive. One of them actually went #2! We did have one incident on the way out, at the very end of the evening, which involved Daddy throwing away a brand new pair of Cars underwear, but the trip was an overall success. Mental note: don't send Daddy running off with the boys when there's a potty emergency. Have HIM stay with the stroller and take them yourself.
On the WW front, it was a success as well. The three older boys had pizza, the baby had Chick-fil-A (mmmmmm, pretty tempting!) and Mommy & Daddy had Subway. I'm surprised that I didn't stumble, since my bread was "so dry you had to eat it in the rain" as my husband would say, and they loaded on some interesting things. That's what I get for sending the husband to get my food. We all know I'm too particular to send anyone else to do my ordering by now! Luckily, I was so distracted with getting these hoodlums to SIT DOWN!! TAKE A BITE!!, etc. that I didn't have a chance to stray.
Tonight will be a little more challenging. It's a formula for disaster. Babysitter + Football Party. I did offer to bring a salad, so hopefully I can fill up on that and not be too tempted by the rest of the "football food". The funny thing is, I haven't touched my flex points. I just don't like using them for some reason. Especially all at one time, since my points start over on Monday. I don't want to eat a bunch of crap and then weigh-in, ya know? Maybe I'll use some of them if there's anything sort-of healthy.
Wow, this was a pretty boring post. Just didn't want to go a day without posting just yet.

Put a Stinkin' Muffler on that Thing!!

2008-01-11T10:20:00.000-05:00

I remember whistfully the days when "sleeping in" meant snuggling down under my covers in my nice, warm bed until 10 or 11 o'clock on a Saturday morning. These days, when it's my day to sleep in, I get until 8. And that's after waking up at 6:45 to remind my darling husband that it's his day to take Jake to the carpool. He then proceeds to ask me a million questions, "Did you pack his lunch, did you set out an outfit?" Then I lie there for half an hour listening to him slowly brush his teeth and get ready before going to wake up our son. I can't try to fall back to my precious slumber until I hear the garage door open and my biggest kids slam the door.
Well, apparently a teenager on our street recently acquired a "new" car. By "new" I mean a shiny teal-colored 1985 something-or-other (I'm not a car person, forgive me.) I think you can see where this is going. The second I start drifting off...VROOM, VROOM, VROOOOOOOOOOM!!!! Mind you, it's seven in the morning! This goes on for a good 45 minutes. Goodbye, extra hour of sleep. Now, I don't know much about cars, but I'm pretty sure that this is unnecessary. I'm not sure if this boy is doing this on purpose or not, but as I toss and turn, try to readjust my earplugs and pillows over my head, and focus on the droning of my fan, I think to myself "If I wanted to report this, do I call 9-1-1? I mean, it's not really an emergency, I guess - but they don't realize how precious my sleep really is! So what would I do, call 4-1-1 and ask for the local police station? Should I talk to this kid's parents and ask them nicely to PUT A MUFFLER ON THEIR SON'S CAR???" I'm beside myself. I must add that this car has been in their family since I moved here, and I've never heard it until the past month or so. Which is why I think that this kid is waking up the whole neighborhood intentionally. What is he, street racing with this thing?? Then my mind drifts to a time, about 12 years down the road from now... when MY beloved angel turns 16. I have a feeling I'll be the one on the street with the police showing up at my door...
*"The Circle of Life" plays softly in the backround.*
Then the twins start yelling in their room "MOOOOOOMMY!!! Come get me, I want to get out of my CRIIIIB!!!" in unison.
So much for sleeping in.

NSV, NSV, NSV!!

2008-01-10T23:08:00.000-05:00

I'd first off like to say that I am not one to use chliche's, including "internet lingo" cliche's, or acronyms, if you will. You know what I mean. It took me a couple of years to start using LOL. Actually, I still hesitate for a quarter of a second (and that's a long time for me, I type pretty darned fast!) before I use it now, and only under dire circumstances - like when I'm actually ROFL. I do NOT use that one, because it doesn't even make SENSE!! R - Rolling, okay, we're doing okay, I get it. O - on, F - floor. WAIT JUST A MINUTE!! ON got it's own letter, but THE, which is a whole letter longer than ON is completely overlooked??? AND it gets worse!! L - ummm... what does the L here stand for? Are we all of a sudden using the second letter of the word now?? Then shouldn't it be ROONFL, or more precisely ROONTHFL???? Okay, I think you get my point. Okay, I've JUST realized that I'm a complete and utter idiot. The L stands for Laughing, doesn't it? Well, I'm glad you were all here to see that. They still left out the THE, though, so I still win.
I DIGRESS (hee hee - I always giggle when I say "I digress" and in my head I'm saying it with a deep, professor-like voice - yes, there's a voice in my head narrating this... now we're getting somewhere!) Back to the NSV. My day didn't start off very well. I woke up about 15 minutes late to get my oldest darling to the carpool. I left my cell phone (a.k.a. calendar, notes, phone numbers, BRAIN) sitting on the kitchen counter. It was either be even LATER, or try to rush to the park & ride a little less late. Well, on the rural road leading to the main road I got stuck behind a school bus. Can you tell me why the school bus has to stop at EVERY house on a street? Can they not walk to their neighbor's house to catch the bus? What ever happened to bus stops - you know where all the kids from the neighborhood walk, or are driven, to ONE spot??? I finally made it to the park & ride, only a few minutes late. At this point it really wasn't an option to drive all the way home to get my cell phone before work. Okay, I can handle one day without a cell phone, right? WRONG! I had a baby shower to go to straight from work... which was in my schedule - in my CELL PHONE, on the kitchen counter at home. As was the number for the girl whose house it was at... and her address. Anyway, all that to say - I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for breakfast. I figured if I distracted you with a long boring story, you'd be so bored by the time you got there your jaw wouldn't drop to the floor aghast (another word I felt a sudden intense desire to use.) Well, prepare to be more appalled. I succumbed to a craving for vegetable mei fun (Chinese rice noodles) for lunch. I had 10 points left for my day; and I know you don't have my cell phone with you, so I'd better remind you that I had a Baby Shower (i.e. cookies, brownies, dips, CAKE.) "Does she not know what NSV stands for?" you're asking yourself.
Short and sweet, I didn't eat cookies, I didn't eat brownies, I ate a teaspoon of dip, and I didn't eat cake. I ate SALAD, and lots of it. I ate celery and carrots. Instead I just gabbed and gabbed with my friends. What fun! I sat in the living room, away from the food, even when everyone else but me and a 10 year old girl were still in the living room. I just talked to her! What a cutie.
So there you have it. NSV #1 for me this go-round. Thank you, thank you (the voice in my head, which now seems to have a body - is taking a bow.)
P.S. for the day - I know that cliche's doesn't have an apostrophe in it, the apostrophe is trying to be the accent over the e that I can't get to work.

New Year, New Hair... (and hopefully new body!)

2008-01-09T12:52:00.000-05:00

I thought of a good title! A day late and a dollar short, but hey - I'll take it. I forgot to mention that I went dark! Boy, you'd never know I gained 10 pounds from all the compliments I'm getting about it. Of course, what else are people supposed to say "Oh, you dyed your hair..." So maybe some of the compliments aren't 100% truth, but any compliment at this point is a good one (and a coveted one!) I'm hoping that soon, they'll have more (or LESS, that is!) to compliment me on other than my hair.

Now let me explain the pictures to the right. The top one is me and my husband, before we were married and 4 kids ago. In reality, it was only a little over 5 years ago. Wow. I wish you could see that picture closer up. My face actually has dimensions. There are nice, skinny smile creases on the sides of my face... I can't explain it. Now my face is big and round. And that's just my face. If I'm going to be honest, I carry my weight pretty well. I've always struggled with the scale, but all growing up, even the dr's were shocked by the actual number on the scale - even when I was thinner. I think I look pretty darned good at 150 pounds, whereas I know some girls who think they're cows at that weight. I mean, I never thought I was skinny, but my stomach was flat, my FACE was thin, my arms were looking pretty good. I have big legs, but when I'm thin, they're mostly muscle - yet, I still couldn't wear knee-high boots. You get the picture. Anyway, I digress (really, I just wanted to use "I digress" at least once today - I love that phrase!) I want to look like that again. Heck, I want to look BETTER than that from the neck down! Or at the very least, from the waist down. The one beneath it is a similar picture... five years and 4 kids later. I can't really blame it on the kids, though! Can I let you in on a little secret?? Seriously, you need to keep this between you and me. I LOSE weight when I get pregnant. No, I'm not lying!! Ask Tina! Oh, I see you don't believe me, tomorrow I'm going to upload a picture of me during my last pregnancy. One of my pregnancies, I lost 16 pounds when I first got pregnant. Then, I gained EIGHT back throughout the pregnancy - that's -8 pounds! Then, once I give birth, I generally lose 15-30 pounds in the first three weeks. It is THEN that they start creeping back on. When I'm breast-feeding. I sit here - right in this very chair - with a huge glass of water and whatever snack (my preference is usually pb&j's when I'm nursing - my cravings start once I give birth, go figure!) I can grab with a HUNGRY, screaming baby or 2 in my arms... And it just creeps back on. I think my body freaks out when I start breastfeeding. "Oh no, oh NO, I'm losing calories... I'm not working out, and I'm losing calories!! Quick, I'd better store some FAT before I STARVE!!!"

Boy, I explained the heck out of those photos! The rest of them speak for themselves.

Oh, and P.S. (I think I'm going to do a p.s. in every post) I weighed myself this morning - down another 2 lbs. So THERE, Glenn!! I'm catching up!!

The Biggest Loser

2008-01-08T21:58:00.000-05:00

I know, totally original title, but after a long day, sitting here watching the show - that's all I've got. It was between that and "Here we go again", which was pretty much just as original.
Hello, diet. I'm back on the wagon!! Yay! And this time I've got a convert with me. My husband Glenn is doing Weight Watchers with me. Seriously, I feel like that commercial - you know, the one where the lady says "I stopped drinking soda and lost 2 lbs. My husband stopped drinking soda, and lost 20 lbs. My husband stopped eating carbs and lost 25 lbs, I haven't touched a piece of bread in a year and lost 5 lbs..." (or something to that affect.) I should be happy. If I wasn't doing this with him, I'd be happy. I LOST 2 LBS!!! BUT... he lost SIX FREAKING POUNDS!!! I'm happy for him, though. It, of course, helps when he's not wolfing down whole cartons of Ben & Jerry's while I'm eating a salad, though. The thing that kicked him into gear was seeing my brother in law's weight-loss progress. We saw him over Christmas and he looks pretty good. He's lost about 15-20 lbs, and wasn't that big to begin with. Glenn asked him how he did it and he said "Two pounds a week. It's not much, but it's doable, and it adds up." (Can we say "Weight Watchers 101, anyone?"
I'm doing really well, I think. I'm feeling motivated. I'm making right decisions. I was hoping for a little more than 2 pounds, but 2 lbs is 2 POUNDS. Pretty awesome. I'm on my way. I've gained since the last time I started WW, so I have quite a distance just to get back to my start weight, let alone my goal weight which seems like a distant dream right now. I'm excited, though. I'm not feeling like giving up at all. My mini-goal right now is to just to exercise more. I play volleyball 2 nights a week, but I've always done that. I need EXTRA exercise. The problem is just finding time in my schedule to do it (she says from her lounge chair in front of the t.v. with a computer on her lap.) Ha ha. No, really, I had a volleyball game tonight. The thought did cross my mind fleetingly that I could drop by the gym after, but I chose saying goodnight to my kids instead.
So, this first post after being a ghost for so long is really keeping in line with the title of my blog. Talk about a ramble! I just felt that since my bestest friend bumped me to the top of her blog roll, I shouldn't let her down and keep quiet.
As a P.S. could I please say that I could NOT be on The Biggest Loser??? I thought before I watched the show that it would be a cinch (hello, yeah, I think I'd lose weight if I worked out ALL day every day with personal trainers and stuck to a fixed calorie diet with all of America watching what I ate!!), then I realized they can't call their families!!! AND, AAAAND!!! They have to weigh in in freakin' sports bras and spandex! Good LORD! Yeah, I'll stick with my comfy chair in front of the tv, thanks.

Insomnia update

2007-11-16T22:44:00.000-05:00

I'm not a superstitious person. I don't believe in that kind of thing at all. However, I still have been hesitating to give an insomnia update. Why? Because I don't want to jinx the sleep!! That's right - SLEEP. No drugs of any kind - not even Tylenol or Advil PM - which, until now, I have not even categorized as drugs - they were just another part of my nightly routine. I have been falling into bed exhausted every night... and actually FALLING ASLEEP. It's been almost a month now, since I got back from vacation (a week in Punta Cana.) We had a horrible bed at the resort, it felt like I was sleeping on concrete for a week. So, when I got home, I was soooo excited to sleep in my own bed, that I skipped my nightly dose of sleeping pills... snuggled in - and went RIGHT to sleep! And it's been the same every night since.
So there you have it. I feel like a normal human being for the first time in about 2 years. Now would be a GREAT time to get back "on the wagon" as far as the diet goes, right? Although... wouldn't want to start something different and disrupt whatever I've done to get oh-so-wonderful SLEEP, hee hee...
Okay, I started that post 6 days ago and have since started back on WW, yay!! I even worked out TWICE this week at the gym with my bestest friend. And no disruption in the sleep! So far so good.
Personal checklist: sleep... check, eating right... check, exercising... check! I think I'm on my way!

I Turned the Other Way

2007-08-02T13:27:00.000-04:00

Well, yay for me!! A little victory today. I picked up the nanny at 8:30 a.m. and was headed to the gym. I hadn't eaten breakfast yet because I had run out of my favorite breakfast - Fiber One Oats & Chocolate bars. I didn't want that to be an excuse to give up early on the exercising, so I was going to go to Dunkin Donuts for a jelly donut (4.5 pts.) I was at the light to turn toward D&D. It turned green, and at the last second, instead of turning left, I turned right... toward the gym - and the grocery store. Instead of the donut, I went and bought more fiber one bars and a banana. Sure, one F1 bar & 1 banana may equal almost the same points as a jelly donut, but I think the previous will be a little better for me, don't you? I did 30 minutes on the elliptical and walked around the track about 10 times. I'm still sore, but it feels pretty good!
The track in my gym is around the whole top of the gym so you can look down at what's going on in the rest of the gym. Well, yesterday I noticed they were having volleyball camp down there. So, today I kept walking around trying to hear and see what they were doing. I think I picked up a few free pointers!! Funny thing, the guys teaching the v-ball camp are two of the SAME guys I played volleyball with on Tuesday night. Small world! I reeeeally wish there was some sort of adult volleyball camp! I don't know why it has to just be for teens! I was thinking of going and trying to pass of as a teenager. I have been told I look young. Ha ha, might not be such a good idea considering that guy who got caught posing as a 13 year old a while back... oh well. Maybe I'll sign up as a "helper" at a volleyball camp, and then I can learn whatever the main people are teaching, ha ha! Sounds like a plan, I'm off to investigate...

Back on the Wagon

2007-08-01T22:43:00.000-04:00

It's been over a week since I've blogged. Feels more like a month. During that week, I went to the beach - twice, once for a birthday party for my niece (just a little beach on the bay here) and once to Ocean City, MD (about 3 hours away) for a whole day trip with a bunch of skinny bee-yotches (yes, that's the way it's spelled in my mind.) That didn't help much with my self esteem... Two days later, I had a birthday party for my 4 year old and went over the top (as in, Pony Rides, petting zoo, pool time, made a home-made cowboy boot cake...) It was lots of fun. One question - am I supposed to be topping each birthday party, because that's just scary. What am I going to do when they all turn 18?? Ha ha, no, I don't think I need to top them, I think one of these times I'm going to do something low-key. My thing is I want to make it fun for his friends who we don't get to see as often. Anyway, it went great. I fell completely off the wagon for at least a week. I went days before realizing I hadn't logged any WW points. I am just going to pretend that week didn't happen. I know I did some damage, but it's time to get back on track.
I've started pretty well this week. I really want to focus on improving my volleyball game. So far this week, I played volleyball for 3 hours Monday night, 2 hours Tuesday night, and went to the gym this morning for 30 minutes on the elliptical and a few laps around the track. I was told by a friend that it only counts if I RUN and I must do it OUTSIDE. I told him, going to the gym and ellipticalling for 30 minutes is better than sitting around all day... (and in my opinion better than running in 90+ degree weather) and I definitely proved that one. I am SORE tonight! I'd like to get back into Pilates because I love (and hate, of course) this soreness, but I think if I do that I'll just do it at home to my dvd's. I don't do well in those classes were there's an 85 year old lady next to me doing it with ease while I'm sweating and grunting and falling over in half the poses. Not encouraging.
So, wish me luck on my volleyball training. My goal is to not be the worst player in the room in this crazy-competitive rec center league I just went to. Boy is that one of the worst feelings, being that person. I don't think I'll give up just yet, though. I just might improve with a couple more weeks there (and a couple less pounds here.)

Lost my Focus

2007-07-23T09:10:00.000-04:00

I had a rough week. After the tornado on Monday, we got our electricity back late Tuesday night. Then Wednesday our phone stopped working. There are still lots of trees on lines, so I guess the one lying on our line finally won that battle. I called the phone company and they told me basically that they now want the customers to do their job. I had to go out and buy a phone that isn't electric, take it outside with a screwdriver, open the access box and plug it in out there to see if the problem is inside the house or with the line. HELLO, a tornado came through - do you think that's just coincidence that our phone hasn't been working since?!?! Their reply - they aren't showing any other outages in my area (a total lie, read on.) Finally got the corded phone on Friday (four kids, no nanny, useless husband, long story.) Of course, the phone line doesn't work outside either. I call back, and they say they are SLAMMED in our area and can't come out until Wednesday! Um, yeah, didn't you say you didn't report any other outages in my area? "Oh, I don't know who told you that..." Rrrrrrrr...
So, I have Verizon DSL, which means no phone, no internet. Tried writing down my points for a couple of days, misjudged a little here & there. Well, then Friday I get a call from a family friend saying she wants to babysit for us so we can go out. No internet to look up the restaurant, but I had most of my FP's left so thought I'd be okay. Halfway through dinner I just stopped thinking about it. Then we went to a movie. Skittles and some of hubby's whoppers. Smart, huh? "Tomorrow's a new day."
Saturday, oh I can't even remember Saturday... Oh yeah, I think I did fine and then ate 2 pieces of dh's pizza and a BIG bowl of ice cream at like 11:30 p.m. Sunday was okay, just a little overboard at Bob Evans. I did get Salmon, but of course got barbeque sauce to dip it in... had half a roll... bite of kids' grilled cheese... bite of chicken finger... etc. Didn't even put my points in on Sunday.
The bad news, brace yourself... 2lb gain! I literally feel sick (and tears brimming) thinking about it. It's so hard to lose and so freakin' easy to put back on. Right now I just want to go curl up in bed and stay there all day. It's gray and depressing out. I have a lady here helping me, but I don't think she's ready to take on the house AND the four kids while I go sleep. I know instead I should go to the gym and work off my frustration, but again, don't want to leave her alone. I wonder if it's cool enough for a walk... of course it will probably start raining on me. Oh, and starting my period any day... fabulous, could it get any better than this??
YAWWWWWN...
Any encouraging words would be greatly appreciated today.

The Vitamins are Revolting!

2007-07-19T16:06:00.001-04:00

Okay, so I have a problem and I need some serious help! Every time I take vitamins, I feel like I'm going to either pass out or throw up. If anyone has been pregnant, you know that feeling where you're just nauseous and not sure if you're ever going to throw up, but it just won't go away? Well, that's me every day after taking my multi. I can take all the other ones, the liqui-caps (those ones with the oil inside), the little caplets (vitamins b6, b12, & folic acid, to be precise) and the acidophilus powder filled clear ones. I can swallow those no problem. The second I open the bottle of the multi-vitamins, I start feeling dizzy. I have to drink I 3 glasses of water with it, and I literally RUN to the couch to lie down. Just thinking about it right now is making me nauseous (or it's leftover nausea from taking it half an hour ago.)
So, my problem is this... I want to take vitamins - real "woman" vitamins that have all the good things I need in them - but I don't want to feel like this every day! Any suggestions??

This is my day so far:

Morning
1 servings Fiber One Bar - Food I created 2
Subtotal 2
Midday
2 Tbsp Balsamic Vinaigrette Dressing 2
3 cups greek salad, without dressing 2
Subtotal 4
Evening
Subtotal 0
Snack
cupcakes 1
jolly rancher lollipops 2
Subtotal 3
Total Food POINTS values used: 9

No Power!

2007-07-19T10:47:00.000-04:00

I was out at volleyball on Monday night and a tornado touched down in my backyard! Luckily, my mom decided to come with me so my kids could watch me play, so nobody was home. It completely destroyed the fence surrounding our pool and left us without electricity for TWO DAYS. Of course, those would happen to be the two hottest days of the summer. It was in the upper 90’s. My dear husband was in Dallas (we live in MD) for the weekend and missed his flight that day. As soon as I got home, they closed all of the roads coming into our neighborhood so the electric company could work on the lines. He was blocked out. I was left alone with 5 boys and no pool. First thing Tuesday morning I got them all dressed and we headed to the mall (AIR CONDITIONING!!) It just happened to be family fun day, so the kids had fun. I dragged out the mall as long as possible - merry go round rides, hair cuts, lunch, pet store, dollar store (prizes for everyone.) That took us until about 1 pm. Then we piled into the car and headed to my mom’s. No way was I going home with all of those kids to a 90+ degree house! Well, my mother is priceless. No matter what the occasion -parties, dinners, guests, or just Tuesday nights - she pours bowls of chips, nuts, crackers, etc and sets them on the counters with various dips. Well, I was standing there talking to her while we were preparing dinner, and all of a sudden I realized I was eating chips and dip!!! These are not baked chips and low-fat dip. These are sour cream & onion lays and regular french onion dip! So there went a bunch of my points out the window. I’m sure I earned bunches of activity points chasing the boys around the mall, but I didn’t add them.
Our electricity resumed last night around 11. I don’t miss the heat, but the silence, darkness and dancing candle-light that come with a blackout were pretty romantic. Too bad my man can’t wake up and catch a plane when he’s supposed to!!

The Internet Went On Without Me

2007-07-14T17:28:00.000-04:00

I skipped my daily dose of the Internet - TWICE. Two days in a row, I decided to go to bed without checking my email or anything. I thought if I didn't check my email/myspace/blog for two days, of course I'd miss a VERY important email/comment/bulletin. Well, here I am checking in. I did get a myspace comment or two, and an email from my best friend (and that IS something to write about - it's rare!) but nothing earth-shattering, or even consequential, for that matter. Maybe I should give it up altogether. I waste entirely too much time on here, when I could be doing something useful like cleaning out my DVR. I had to get on to log my points, so here I am. I responded to my email, stalked some people on myspace, and still have a half an hour before my babysitter (and, coincidentally baby SISTER) gets here and I get a few hours of sanity. Oh, have I mentioned that my nanny has left the country? That story is for another day.

Good news!!! On the weight-loss front: I know I'm not supposed to weigh myself more than once a week, but I did it anyway this morning. It was supposed to be a punishment for eating THREE slices of Stromboli last night, plus pasta salad (veggie-full, though!!) AND guacamole & chips... oh AND buffalo-chicken dip, yikes!! Instead, I was in for a treat. I've lost 4 pounds... and I think I weighed myself on Tuesday. My weigh day is supposed to be Monday. I'm sure on Monday I'll realize there is some other explanation for this (water weight, or lack thereof, etc.) but for right now I'm going to be happy about it! Plus, I chased my boys around at the park all day (man, can my 1 year old disappear quickly at the playground!!!), so that should help!

Um... Miss Grammar is having some kind of brain issue... do those commas belong before the parenthesis, inside, or after them???

So You Think You Can...

2007-07-12T00:50:00.001-04:00

Get so freaking jealous watching this show. I don't think I can dance. I actually can't dance one bit. The only people who have actually seen me dance would be a few work friends from years ago when I used to drink (and I'd have to drink quite a bit before I'd get out there, and even then I'd just be playing around), and my kids - when nobody else is in the house (and they laugh at me.) I also don't think I can ever have a body like any of those girls on there. Day 3 of WW, I shouldn't be having thoughts like this. I want her body... ha ha, that sounds funny. I don't mean I want HER body. I mean, I want my body to look like her body. Any one of them will do. Only like a million more pounds to go before I'm even close. Sigh...
I think I'm too tired to blog. I can't remember what I came here to say, so I'm going to leave it like this and edit it later.

Desperate Housewife

2007-07-10T11:20:00.000-04:00

I'm having a "desperate housewife" day. Let me give you a little insight into it. My "mommy's helper" is sick today. She's also leaving in 2 days for 3 weeks. My husband is sleeping until noon at least because he was up late playing online poker, then watching HBO movies. Currently, one twin is running around the house with a tissue box being chased by the other twin who wants the tissue box. They are both screaming. The older brother is following them. Also screaming. He thinks he is the moderator. I finally intervened. I gave each of them a soda box (you know, the fridge box for soda cans.) Now they're all happy. Is there a shortage of toys in this house, you ask? I can't take a step without tripping over a car, ball, or puzzle piece.

It has quieted down a bit (the puzzle pieces distracted them for a while) so I have a few seconds to think. I don't think I should have a second to think. I should not be left alone with my thoughts on a day like this. I should get up and get the kids outside to the pool. Maybe I'll set an appointment at the gym nursery so I can work out tomorrow. They're a bit snotty lately, though, so the nursery probably won't accept them. Don't think it's worth it. Well, if the nanny shows up tomorrow, I could go by myself. I really need to get on a workout program. My volleyball game is really suffering from me being so out of shape. I can barely make my serves over the net. My energy runs out halfway through my swing. I also need some good energy meal ideas. Yesterday I had a Fiber One bar for breakfast. I had to run around all afternoon on errands, so I didn't eat until about 3. I was cutting up a cantaloupe I got at the fruit stand and ate about 1/4 of it. I had to leave for volleyball at 5:30, so I just had time to get the dinner in the oven and corn-on-cob boiling on the stove before I had to leave. The corn was done right before I walked out the door, so I took 2 pieces with me and ate them on the drive down. I know, you should have seen me on the phone, eating corn-on-the-cob and driving at the same time. I should be on a Nationwide commercial! Nationwide is on your side (not mine!!) :) No wonder my serves were flopping! I ate dinner when I got home at like 10:30. Chicken & Rice bake with broccoli. That probably would have helped me before volleyball!

So far today I've had half of my large iced coffee from Dunkin's and half of a donut. Staying within the points, but missing the rest of the healthy eating habits so far. Maybe I'll dig into that canteloupe again. Still not much on the energy front, though.

Oh, and as far as the insomnia goes... I went to bed at 11:15. At 12:15 I took 2 Advil PM and a Roserem and fell asleep shortly after. I vaguely remember being awake a few times during the night, but pretty much slept until 8:07 when my nanny called and told me she wasn't coming. I got advice from a friend last night. He told me I should not take ANY medication for 6 months then I'll be able to sleep. I think I earned at least one activity point laughing at that. Yeah, I guess if I didn't sleep for 6 months straight, I might be able to get one night of unmedicated sleep. I think if I eat right, exercise, and take vitamins it might help. And, if I get my husband on board with the whole thing (like NOT playing poker all night and going to bed at a reasonable time!) it would really help.

Well, I think I'm going to start the process on getting the kids ready for the pool. It will take me half an hour to get them out there. Bathing suits, swimmy diapers, towels, sunblock... Plus, it's like 100 degrees at least out there. This should be fun.

And the Word of the Day is...

2007-07-07T21:13:00.000-04:00

IDIOT. I know, how old am I?? And I used it TWICE today. Once with my husband, and once with my sister (out loud anyway - there were quite a bit more internal "idiots" going on.) My dear, sweet husband let me sleep in a bit this morning. If you've read Tina's blog you'll know why I needed to sleep in. Long story short - BLAST of an evening out on the town with 6 hot, young Eastern European chicks and my BF. Pulled into the driveway at 2:20 something, went straight to bed - which, of course means I fell asleep around 4ish (tried to fall asleep without any drugs because I was pretty tired after walking around for hours.) One more crazy drug concoction (taken at 3:40ish) later I finally fell asleep. Wow, is there ANY way back to my original story from here? Glenn gets up with the kids and I sleep until 10:40. Then he watched them while I went to Dunkin Donuts. Donuts for the kids (and yes, TWO for me) a large iced coffee for me and a medium for him and a donut for him (mind you, he had already eaten breakfast, I had not.) Home again. Glenn goes to bed while I chase the kids around. I eat one of my donuts, drink my whole coffee and head out to the pool with the crazies. I'm out there for hours, running on coffee & a donut dreaming the whole time about that second donut. I come inside starving (this is around 4, the first donut was around 11) drooling over the donut I'm already eating in my mind. Open the box... there is HIS nasty donut where mine should have been!! HE ATE MY DONUT!! I know, I know, I shouldn't be eating a donut for breakfast AND lunch, but I was planning on eating plenty of veggies for dinner at my mom's (yeah right, but still.) So begins an argument with my darling spouse (if I could make these words DRIP with sarcasm as you read them, I would - could someone please show me the button for that?)
So, on to the second idiot. Today was my niece's 6th birthday. My sister wouldn't have even told me about the party if we hadn't been at my mom's the other night for the post fourth bash and she hadn't mentioned that she doesn't think anyone she had INVITED was coming... I wouldn't have even known about it!! ARRG. Anyway, that night she never even said what time it was OR officially invited me. So today, there's a missed call from her at 9 a.m. I called her back at 11 - no answer (of course, that !%$^ never answers her phone.) She calls me back at 12:48, after my kids have been swimming all morning and are desperately in need of a nap, and tells me that the party is at 1. ONE. Yes, that is exactly TWELVE minutes away (about how far the party is from my house.) Have I mentioned I have four little boys, ages 3 and under?! Hence, the 2nd "IDIOT" of the day.
I did end up going to the party. I want to explain the whole thing, but this is already painfully boring, I can feel it. I want to explain the internal "idiots" I called my sister when she said she wouldn't do the cake or presents without us, then told me when I was five minutes away that the party was over. But I don't want to rehash it too much, I get angry all over again, and the rest of the day wasn't so bad. It was really nice. I ended up going into the party, even though I wanted to just drop off the kids and leave. It was at my parents' house. The party was over, but the kids still got to eat cake. They had a good time, and once my heart melted a little, I enjoyed it. Then I loaded them all up, brought them home, and we all seeded the front lawn. :) Oh, I SO badly need to use this cliche:
"All's well that ends well!"
Hey, is it a cliche if I've never used it before in my life? I guess it still is. Oh well.

I didn't get a compliment

2007-07-05T18:00:00.000-04:00

Wow. The tiredness just doesn't go away! I slept for probably 10 hours last night, woke up, went and got a massage (not a big pick-me-up, but TOTALLY worth it!!) I went to lunch with my BEAUTIFUL perfect little sister (while we were there an old lady walked up to her out of the blue, cupped her face in her hands and said "Ah, to be young and beautiful again!) Why can't I be happy for other people when they get compliments?? Anyway, after that, I came home and my oldest little boy wanted me to lie down with him. Of course, I crashed. Slept for almost 3 hours. And now, do I feel rested and ready for this post-4th-of-July party at my parents?? No, I feel like I could sleep for a week!! Maybe someday I'll feel rested!!??
I'm trying to decide if I'm on a diet or not. I need to be, that's for sure. It just seems like such a daunting task. At the very VERY least, I have 50 pounds to lose. I know it can be done, I've read of people doing it. Heck, I did it in my early 20's. Then, I worked at a desk job, so whatever I brought with me or bought on my lunch break, I ate. It was easy! I just brought a bunch of fruit every day. My indulgence was coffee. Now, I'm pretty much home all day. I mostly don't even think about what I'm eating. Whatever the kids eat, or whatever I feel like eating, I eat. I start Weight Watchers every Monday, and by Tuesday I'm not logging my food again. The only consistent thing I do for exercise is my Monday night volleyball for 3 hours. I want to do Pilates once a week, but I usually have some excuse for not dragging myself to the gym on Wednesdays (maybe the top on that list is I'm embarrassed about myself in the class because the 90 year old ladies can do EVERY pose while I'm struggling.)
One of these days I'm going to surprise everyone and have a positive entry on here! Ha ha!
My twins are vying for my attention right now, so I'll cut this depressing ramble short.

Insomnia

2007-07-04T23:45:00.000-04:00

I'm having a serious love/hate relationship with SLEEP. All I want to do is sleep, but once I lay my little head down on that pillow, my deepest desire evades me. The hours tick by, and eventually I end up in the bathroom (again), tears rolling down my cheeks thinking "If I fall asleep now, all I'll get is... (4, 3, 2, 1 hours) and then it's up again with 4 little boys who just want to fight over toys all day long. Now, I love my dear sweet boys, but with each missing hour of sleep, the love is harder to hear in my voice. All I want to do is curl up in a ball with my fingers in my ears.
Ah, what a nice, pick-me-up little blog we have here today. Today wasn't so bad anyway. First of all, the combination of 4 Advil PM's and a Roserem actually worked last night. Second, it was the Fourth of July. Third, we had company. We had another family over with kids, so mine were enteretained all day long. All I had to do was cook, cook, cook. And that involved throwing a huge rack of ribs and a bunch of filets on the grill and make a big salad (don't be deceived, anyone doing weightwatchers - this salad is about 7 points a serving!)
So now it's almost midnight, and I'm trying to decide if I should just sit here and watch some more pointless television, or if I should go risk the hours of fighting to get myself to sleep. The upside - my dear, sweet angel of a nanny will (hopefully!!) be here in the morning to help with the kids.
Well, maybe if I start the fight with sleep now, I'll win a little earlier tonight... Wish me luck, imaginary reader.

Beginning of the End?

2007-07-02T23:51:00.000-04:00

So my best friend said that I should ramble on here. I'm just curious to see if this will be an actual beginning of something, or the beginning of the end (or, I should say, the beginning AND the end.) She says that I should blog. I tell her all I do is ramble, and nobody wants to hear me ramble. She thinks that my ramblings are interesting and funny. We'll see if anyone agrees.
What am I thinking about right this minute? That this is a re-run of Letterman because he's talking about Paris Hilton going to jail and Shrek the 3rd coming out. Also, I'm thinking of how I would classify this blog... Is it a blog about my weight loss journey (ha ha, weight LOSS is a little optimistic, maybe I should say millionth ATTEMPT at weight-loss.) Is it a mommy blog - a boring journal of my daily life with four little crazies, ages 3 & under?? That's interesting (to ME, anyway!) Or will it be ramblings about the ups & downs of my marriage?
*side note* Oh my GOSH, the Hungarian lady staying in my basement just walked up the stairs in JUST A TOWEL!! If you were staying at a stranger's house, would you walk around in a towel?? And no, she's not hot (if she were, I wouldn't be complaining! Oh wait, yes I would, I'm sitting here with my husband!) Okay, so see, now I don't know if I need to EXPLAIN this situation or not... I'm a blog virgin!!!
Well, I guess we'll see where this thing goes. Who's up for a crazy ride??

Melissious Intentions

"I didn't lose my mind. I sold it on Ebay."

GOAL REACHED!!!!!

Pathetic Attempt at Begging

Twenty-Five Things

OBX Time!

I'm So Sorry!

I'm a Nutcase

A Night In

To Tatt or not To Tatt

Simple Pleasures

The World Was Not Worthy

Wordless Wednesday

Lettuce in a sandwich?? EW!!

Just Another Manic Monday

Laughing Through the Tears

Wordless Wednesday

The Unveiling

Through a Glass Darkly

Ode to Grandpa

Speechless Saturday

Selfish

So I'm Sitting There Buck Naked...

Valentine's Blues

No Wonner They Scream! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!

Quirky confessions - *Evil laugh*

No Wonder They Scream!!!

Terrific Tuesday - Thank You, Mr. D!

The School of Suffering*

This is Not for You (Yes, I Mean YOU)

One Day

DIE, Teletubbies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (And where the HELL is my coffee???)

Happy Birthday, Dr. King

And the Worst Mom of the Year Award Goes to...

I Do NOT Get Paid Enough for this Sh!t

Didn't Your Mother Ever Tell You Not to Hit Girls??

My Weekly Respite

The Longest Thirty Minutes of my Life

An Evening at the Mall

Put a Stinkin' Muffler on that Thing!!

NSV, NSV, NSV!!

New Year, New Hair... (and hopefully new body!)

The Biggest Loser

Insomnia update

I Turned the Other Way

Back on the Wagon

Lost my Focus

The Vitamins are Revolting!

No Power!

The Internet Went On Without Me

So You Think You Can...

Desperate Housewife

And the Word of the Day is...

I didn't get a compliment

Insomnia

Beginning of the End?

Quirky confessions - Evil laugh